Since January 2012 I’m writing down several of my past life experiences. I make stories of them. Most of them I write in English.

I don’t write down the stories as they literally have happened. In my stories I let my past life personalities grab chances that already were available then too. By doing that, the stories have a happier ending than in reality. My goal, doing this, isn’t only to write a story which is more fun to read, but also to heal the trauma’s of that past life in a unique and playful way. The life lessons the personalities now are experiencing might find a connection with the reader.

On this page you can follow my progress. I’ll give you teasers.

 Aileana

Running through the woods she still smells the fire burning everything that it finds on its way. It’s getting dark, yet she keeps running and running. Away from the horrible things that she saw, as far as possible away from that. Not thinking, just running. No memories. Suddenly she stumbles and falls in a deep pit. It’s not so deep, yet she rolls a bit further as if it’s the hole of an animal. In a daze she looks around. After her eyes adapt to the darkness, she can see a wavering light in the distance. She shivers. It’s cold there and the sphere doesn’t feel good at all. She looks back and sees that it’s possible to climb out again through the hole that she uncovered by falling in. It must be a hidden entrance of something. She hesitates, very aware of the danger, yet pulled by something invisible and also very curious. Slowly she starts to walk further inside the dark passage, her hands touching the earth walls. It’s further than she thought, but she can’t resist the feeling that she has. As if someone is calling her there. Her heart beats loudly, she holds her knife in her hand, ready to use it if necessary. Finally, near the light, the passage takes a turn to the right and then to the left and suddenly she stands in a kind of cave. The flickering light comes from just one candle. Shocked she looks right in the eyes of a little boy, who can’t be much older than six, just two years younger than she is. He’s naked and tied up with ropes. For a moment they stare at each other, astonished. Aileana notices that the pulling feeling stopped. She walks the few paces to the boy and cuts the ropes with her sharp knife, as fast as she can. When he’s loose, he rubs his wrists and his ankles. “Come with me”, she says and stretches her hand out to him. He looks at her with big dark eyes and doesn’t dare take her hand. “Oh”, she suddenly understands. She looks down at her own clothes. She’s wearing an old dress that’s a little bit too short. That’s why she put on the trousers too this morning when she left home. She went to search for herbs in the woods very early and it was chilly outside. Quickly she pulls her trousers off and hands them over to the boy. Is there a sound In the distance? She sees the boy hold his breath, listening, very intense. Then he puts the trousers on very quickly and grabs her hand. As fast as she can, she leads him through the dark passage, letting the earth walls slide along her hands to remember the way out. At the hole in the earth, she helps him out first. Then he helps her, pulling her up while she climbs out too. Without saying anything, they start to run in the same direction, deep into the woods. Only the stars lighten up their path.

She wakes up with a fright, her eyes wide opened.

At first she doesn’t even know where she is. This dream was so vivid… Slowly she recognizes the room, the bed she’s lying in. She hears footsteps coming and freezes. It’s the man. He’s kind to her, but something feels wrong. He gave her food and a place to sleep when he saw her just come through the gate of the little walled town, with a bewildered look on her face. She didn’t even realize how hungry she was then. She had been running all afternoon, during the night too, and in the morning she saw the unknown town. This is how he found her: an eight year old girl with dirty old clothes and hollow eyes. He never asked where she came from and she never talked about it.

Frédérique

Breathless from hurrying through the dark streets, she enters the room. The lecture has already started. But she couldn’t get away earlier from the busy pub. She didn’t even have time to change her clothes. People look at her. Uncomfortably she covers her chest with her shawl and quietly sits down at the first available chair at the back of the room.

She met him a couple of days ago at the pub of her parents. When she had asked him what he wanted for dinner, she was stunned to hear he didn’t want meat.
“Vegetables only? Are you sure? Our dishes all contain meat and they’re not expensive.”
“I just don’t eat meat”, he said wearily, not wanting to explain why.
“Well then”, she said pensively, “I’ll go to the kitchen to make you some vegetables with brown beans. It might take a while because it’s very busy at the moment. But I’ll serve it to you as fast as possible.” She knew that her brother, the cook, wouldn’t be willing to make something different than his usual recipes. And she wouldn’t have time to prepare something, as she had to serve the dinners he prepared and bring drinks. But somehow she wanted to give this man the meal he wanted. In the kitchen she peeked in the pans until her brother asked her grimly what she wanted.
“One of our customers wants a meal without meat. Can you make that?”
“No.” A blunt answer. She’d expected that.
“Then I’ll make it by myself. Give me some vegetables and a big spoon of those brown beans.” She said more firmly than she felt. He gestured to the pots and pans with a careless gesture.
“Get what you want and don’t bother me.” Quickly she grabbed what she needed and put it all in a small pan.
“Bring these dishes away now. I don’t want them cold at our customer’s tables,” he commanded. Quickly she put the flame on low and ran away with the dishes, serving them fast.

As soon as he sees her serving the clients, he watches her, admiring the supple way she avoids grabbing hands by swinging her hips away at the right moment. She has fastened her long brown curls with a clip. And from time to time she blows away one of the curls that escaped from the clip and tickles her face. He shouldn’t be watching her, but he has no company at dinner and is bored and tired. He pushes away the thought he should concentrate on his belief only and watches her, hoping she won’t notice. She’s wearing a very provocative bustier that shows a big part of her full breasts. Her skirt is long as it should be, but tight around her buttocks. So there’s a lot of men watching her figure and trying to touch her. He wonders whether she likes the attention. She seems just very busy, not paying attention to any man.

Returning in the kitchen she stirs the vegetables. Just in time. Her surly brother gestures: “Add herbs.” She smiles at him. “Thanks.” Another time she has to serve plates. She hurries back, afraid the vegetables will burn. They seem ready now. She puts all of them on a plate with a piece of parsley on top as decoration, hoping her brother won’t see it.

Swiftly she puts the plate on his table with a proud smile.
“There you are. I hope you like it. Enjoy your meal.” And she hurries away to other tables.

Later she watches him eat. He seems to like it because he eats fast. He is handsome, she notices. Short dark brown hair, dark eyes, dark eyebrows, sophisticated features. Not as rude as most men in the pub. His eyes didn’t wander off to her décolleté and he didn’t try to touch her.
“What are you staring at?” her father grumbles, hitting her buttocks to move her forward. “There’s work to do.” Annoyed she turns away and starts serving beers. From the corners of her eyes she sees her father walk to the stranger who asked him the bill. She hopes the stranger won’t tell he had a different meal. Otherwise she can expect an argument with her father. Right after he paid, she hurries to his table to take away the empty plate.
“Thank you for the special treatment. I loved the food”, he says with a charming smile. To her surprise she blushes and has no other reply than: “You’re welcome”.